How Outlandish Is It To Proclaim You're Giving Up Gambling For The Rest Of The Month...Except For March Madness?

Smitty 3/16/2017 1:30 PM

I DECLARE ~~BANCKRUPCY~~ TO NOT LAY A WAGER ON ANYTHING THIS MONTH EXCEPT THE BIGGEST GAMBLING EVENT DIRECTLY INVOLVED WITH THIS MARCH.

Makes sense, right? Why not. Hey, one shining moment, baby. Is this hypocritical? Perhaps. And by perhaps I mean definitely. It’s beyond outlandish. That’s like saying – Hey, I’m going cold turkey from all alcohol…except whiskey…and on any day that ends in a Y. It’s still not as hypocritical as our boy Riggsy going 40 Days/40 Nights sober then taking a “Snow Day” to get his googly eyes glazed, but it’s close. And at least I’m coming clean, somewhat.

There’s a method to my ~~madness~~ blatant stupidity. I’m already gambling in life to the point where I’m happy to still own pants. If I were doing my normal, American wagers on bar games and rock, paper, scissors late night at the pub, those pants will be long gone. The idea here is to minimize the damage. And you can’t not put in brackets or place bets on March Madness. That’s like living without the ability to breathe. Just can’t do it. Won’t do it. And thus lies my conundrum, and solution.

PS – Wish we can go back in time and place a bet on this basketball tounament. I’ll take Barstool Philly for +52…and still gladly lose.